Ouji
"Does it actually work?" I inquired.
"I don't know, we'll have to find out," Kelsey said.
Pulling the Ouji Board out, I had a bone chilling shiver that ran through my body.
"Go turn off the light," Kelsey stated, "oh also, get a candle."
"Why a candle?"
"To see if a spirit is here, duh," Kelsey sneered.
*****
"I think we should got to bed," I said tiredly.As we moved the little plastic arrow to say 'good bye' something took hold and spelt out 'not yet'. Frozen in fear we looked at each other, dumbfounded. Immediately, we let go of the arrow, but the spirit wasnt done yet. Staring, as the the flame flickered and then went out. Not knowing that this was the least of our worries.
The prompt should be used in the middle of a sentence so try to fit that into your story. I don't really understand your last sentence so you should explain it more or use the words differently or just use different words. I like how you used descriptive words and I think your story is really creative.
ReplyDeleteYou are mixing up your tenses a bit, for example, whenever you use said or inquired, those are past tense. Whenever your characters aren't speaking, you use present tense. Your last sentence doesn't make that much sense. I think you meant to say "Not knowing" instead of "Not know". I like your original idea!
ReplyDeleteI really like the plot line of your story. In your second paragraph sixth sentence you say "not know that this was the least of our worries" but it should be not knowing. Also you have a bunch of good descriptive words but do you think you can change a few more to be more descriptive.
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea and plot of your story! Although, I think you could add some more descriptive language, like Tinkerbell mentioned.
ReplyDeleteEx.) Instead of saying, I say tiredly. You could say, I yawn. e.c.t.
Well first of all ouji is not spelled properly and the I think we should got to bed I think you mean I think we should GO to bed.
ReplyDelete