It's Real
People always say heaven is beautiful, and they're right.
"So, let's back up," the nurse said sitting down.
"Ok I was put into a coma from a tragic car accident. During the coma all I remember is this mystical staircase and I started walking up it. Not knowing it was 'the light', the light you see when you die, I kept going. Until... I guess it wasn't my time to reach heaven, so one of the steps gave way, and here I am.
"Are you sure this wasn't a dream?" The nurse asked.
"I'm sure," I stated, "heaven is for real."
I really like the originality of your story. I also like how you used an even amount of speaking roles and non-dialogue parts.
ReplyDeleteI really like your story but i got a little confused when you say the light because you didnt mention it earlier.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Tinkerbell!
Great job.
You're story is very original. I really like it as well. I agree with Lillytiger, when you said, 'the light' you didn't mention it earlier. Also when you said, 'I started walking up it' I don't really know what you meant because usually you're walking along a bridge, not walking up a bridge. Other than that great job.
ReplyDeleteGood job lots of good grammar I agree with tinker bell good speaking parts
ReplyDeleteGood story with good grammar but I did not understand the light part in your story. I also agree with tinker bell.
ReplyDeleteI liked the idea of your story, but you may want to read over the sentence that starts with "Not knowing...." because it doesn't flow smoothly. And you don't need the word "until" in your next line because you can just start it off with "I guess it wasn't time to...." But other that that great story!
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