Kite
It floated up like Mary Poppin's umbrella. My favourite firetruck red kite was now long gone. I watched it take off over the mountain, it is forever lost. Plopping myself on a hard rock, I sat there head in palm, sulking.
"Now what do I do?"
"Well..." said a low raspy voice behind me.
"You could use mine."
I gazed up at this spindly looking man, grasping a yellow kite.
"Really?" I asked.
"Ya sure, why not!"
"Cool thanks!"
That's when it registered, he was the man from the T.V.. The one who abducted the girl. I dropped the kite and ran.
I really like your story, it so good! but after you wrote "ya sure why not!" I think you could've used a comma after "ya sure", so that it's "ya sure, why not!" But other than that great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
ReplyDeleteI loved your story but I think its " Mary Poppins"
I like your story it's outside the box but your sentence beginings are bit weak make sure that you use good words rather that 3 or 4 letter words.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed reading your story. I didn't expect that ending. Keep on writing!
ReplyDeleteThat was a good piece of writing. It flowed well and I especially liked your ending, as it left me wanting to know if anything sinister was going to happen!
ReplyDeleteNicola Richardson, Team 100wc, Tyne and Wear, UK